The Restless By NCBEK

The Restless


Give me your unspoken mind,
That which dwells within the depths of uncertainty
And revel in its moment,
As the caotic stream of urges surges beneath the warmth of my skin

Feel as I feel,
Lips, hands, silence-
An unbroken stream of concious
Have you spoken in words unknown? Leaving your lips and body to do the talking,

Such beauty beneath vibrant eyes and the smiles that enrich them.
I have spoken these words,
I have tasted this senseless meaning, like men in the wild.
And yet my body, like civilization must conquer the unknown.
And all that beauty, to be unravelled within the nature of it all.

Only to be left
Like the longing taste
Of my lips and yours

The Story I No Longer Have

The Story I No Longer Have



Who was the first?
To lay down those mismatched pages and that loosely kept cover of a book,
That I, can no longer recall the title too-
Who lost their eyes and left it to be watched by other’s hands?

I cannot recall
where it was last kept, as all I can think of is the first place I found it
A cover bound by uncertain wonder, like a glittering tapestry and the rich firm leather, found only in the off brown hue of the soil from Puerto Rico
The first few pages, smelled of burnt vanilla cloves and spiced rum
It’s edges battered and softly warn like crumpled paper
The erratic thoughts and messages left there between its creases and folds
Reminded me of a life I never had.
I suppose it was hidden there,
Left only for me to find as if I had the map to its unknown.
Was it in that room?
A tile hung above the door, a door that was two hundred and seven rooms too far from the first instance I found it.
No, no…
It has traveled with me beyond that small room, to a world much larger than we had known.

I lost so many nights reading those pages
Jotting down notes and thoughts against its margins
I imagined so many things within its stories
Did you read any of them?
Stories that melded nights and days, characters and adventures.
Yet all of them, these stories, unique in the way they would hold my memory.

Soft stains of coffee still mark the pages I loved the most, where fingers lingered upon the edges of each leaflet, as if to be caressing the love straight from the sentences that carried it.
I still feel the skin of each page as it would move beneath my hands,
And the soft smell of daisies that were left there to mark some of the chapters.

I feel, I remember the last pages, as my hands lingered there for a while longer. The remnants of a book unfinished.
I still go to the places where I had last read it, I still see the vivid images wash over my eyes like the dazed surreal-ness of a starry night. I would lay in the same bed, or walk along the quiet streets of celebration,
The air seems fresher there, as if life once walked those same streets.

But I can no longer recall where I last left something so precious and pure, as if the lasting memories were just a dream.
As if the pages were never cut from their trees. I still feel the feeling; that long walk between the rows of messages written there. I still hear them, the characters that were involved,
And I think back on the notes I had made of them. I suppose others will find it, they too shall leave their marks upon the already worn pages, but they too will know the marks I have left there.
They too shall see who else has read those lines,
I only hope that they find the lost meanings in the pages still left to be written, as they care for what is now lost to me.

The Lost Beat


The Lost Beat


Send me the lost letters,
The broken sentences and phrases,
The unfinished thoughts that lingered When all that was finished between us Was the unanswered silence
Give me the moments
You no longer care to remember
Give me the moon, as it no longer
Holds your faithful dreams the way I did
And let go the morning’s sun,
As the careless walk
Between bed and bath, has grown longer
Let your feet rest as mine do now
As we no longer treck the same path
Has the late-day’s horizon lost its color?
Or do all setting suns now glow a little less brilliant.
What hour did the clock last strike?
As I am unable to hear it anymore
Give me your lost feelings,
Let me find meaning to them again
As I am but the mindless urge
That lives and breathes within you
Give me that last moment
And I will find you a beat to follow again.

Dawn – By: NCBEK


By: NCBEK(Nathaniel C. Bek)

I was born from the same broken soil
Stone, skin, blood and dreams
All to be made
Saturated like lost coins in a pool
A reminder of hopes
We no longer hold
As they have been cast upon the world
Made real like the laws that govern
I am the happiness
That tugs at your shirt
While constant is only defined
By the siege on your ears.
I am the little bobbing hats
Like colorful flags of surrender and the lost blank eyes that follow them.
A year has passed beneath the footsteps we shared
Weathered, damaged and changed
My soles have taken me
Places untold by your memories
As I have written my own books
And although you can no longer guide
Like the precision compass you were
The morning sun will always break
And for Dawn is who you are.
So do not fear that you do not see
The change of each of my days
For you will always remain
Constant within them
Like the morning
You will always be there
After the cold and darkness
Has left me
Giving me the warmth
Of a thousand and one hugs
And I will still remain
Your child

Leave Me – By: NCBEK

Leave Me
By: Nathaniel C. Bek(NCBEK)

Leave me as you loved me
Broken and afraid
A hundred random rambling pieces
Left in a cage of throbbing emotion

Love cannot claw
At the aches that itch
Nor can I breathe
So close to the sun
You leave me melted and lost
A smoldering ball of delicious laughter
And yet I do not fear tomorrow

The Running Man – By: NCBEK

The Running Man
By: Nathaniel C. Bek(NCBEK)

I run

Run by the feverous limbs that sprawl
Across the broken steps of the earth
Rustling dirt and dust as they do

Lost anchors to a drifting ship
I drag across this wave-less sea of people

And it is the sand that fills my lungs
As I gasp for the rush of waters
Known now only by my eyes

I am to hold the lines
Left strapped by masts
Like arms held for hands
No longer filled by the warm masses
That held them

And it is a devilish ocean
Only outnumbered by the docks
That now house these course-less ships

Mildred – By: NCBEK


By: Nathaniel C. Bek

Silence filled the sky today,
As the colorless clouds
No longer carried
The weighted songs
Of the summerbirds tune,
Maybe it was the way the air had held
The lingering taste of roasted pecans
And the faint welcoming sound
Of a dinner no longer there
That made the table seem
A little less full.
And yet a chair left empty remained
Like a memory
Of the still warm presence
Its last resident had given
And there it will remain
As it holds a place at my table
As it fills me like the meals before it
And in the end
The radiant smiles it held within will carry on beyond its understanding
For a greatness resided
And for a hundred years or so
It will have warn the floorboards white
A lasting impression of a inspiration
And I suppose,
We are all our own songs upon the open air
Like a lasting hum drifting from the kitchen, yet we determine the beat, we determine the sound,
And we;
Determine how long it will remain upon the hungry taste buds of our life’s ears.

Dedicated to one of the most amazing and inspirational women I will have ever met.
My Grandmother will always live on beyond her years in memory and in heart.
I will miss you. 100 years, and you decided when it was time.
Strength beyond, and knowledge within. RIP 10/25/2014.